Surrender

The other night, I was at an evening worship service. For a period of time we were set free to walk amongst many prayer stations. Each had a scripture or inspirational thought; all having to do with Life and Resurrection and Hope. One talked about our "gifts." At that station, was an invitation to write your gift on a strip of paper to create a linking chain. Linking all of the gifts of all the people, friends and strangers alike, into one. Others stood and wrote. I had to sit...to meditate...to discover what gift God might have me write. "Surrender," came to my mind. Surrender? I had never thought of that as a gift, let alone one of my gifts. But I wrote it and made it part of the chain. As I drove home, alone, I wondered about surrender. And I realized that I needed to surrender. A friend of mine and I were in a disagreement. I had pleaded in person, I had called and texted...and nothing would help the situation. So, now, I was resolute. I had given my all. I had done my best. Now, it was she who would have to make the next move. Although, deep in my gut, I didn't feel right about that expectation. Surrender. What would it mean in this circumstance? Now that God was haunting me with the word...and its application, I had to consider it. Surrender would mean giving up my pride, surrendering my will; which wanted to run smugly away to the safest corner. Surrender would mean risk. And so, I had to give her a call. Surrender is still haunting me, almost a week later. Each time something challenging comes across my path. And my will asserts itself, "surrender" tromps through my mind, messing with all my willful plans. And I wonder, how, next am I called to surrender?